I was genuinely jealous when I saw her — and it caught me totally off guard. I was just driving along, on my way to the grocery store, and there she was—with one of the great loves of my life! I felt it first in my stomach as it sank. She looked so happy and devoted…and was clearly treated very well in return. I realized in that moment, it was pure jealousy…and it roused me to action. That was it! I decided then and there, as I watched her power through that run, making it look so easy and fun in her cute shorts and matching running shoes, that I wanted this love back in my life! It has been too long… and substitutes just won’t do for me anymore. After all, running has always been so good to me…giving me confidence, endurance, goals to achieve, increased productivity—even mental clarity and inspired ideas! Running has always, ALWAYS believed in me—sure that I could go one more mile. Running even helped me recover from being hit by a car! And have I mentioned the medals??? I love Running for all this and more. How could I not?
So last night, we were reunited. And it was better than I remembered! A cool evening 5K with NO walking breaks! Where did that come from? I should have expected that…running always was spontaneous and full of surprises. It was just us, under the moonlight; not a car or person in sight. The old feelings flooded back in and I knew I didn’t have to be jealous of “her” anymore. I am her. Welcome back, faithful love, oh, how I’ve missed you.
When my family and life were falling apart, I hated going out in public. I lived in a fairly small town with a tight knit community and everyone knew our dirty laundry. There was no hiding it. Not just because of the typical small town rumor mill, but because we kind of (totally) stuck out like a sore thumb.
We lived on a main highway in a pretty dilapidated and very old farmhouse. We drove our family around in a 15 passenger van — a RED one — that was always parked in our driveway because it didn’t fit in the old, tiny garage. Nothing subtle about that. And to make us even more conspicuous, we were the only family with 11 kids AND we also had the police over for ‘visits’ on a regular basis. We were “that” family. I loathed being that family. My dream of a big, happy family had turned into a nightmare and a public spectacle.
So, you can see why I wasn’t psyched about venturing out — ESPECIALLY to school functions. That involved eye contact with hundreds of other parents and neighbors…and teachers. Ugh. I didn’t even have it in me to make eye contact with all the little kids, much less all of those adults.
I will never forget one particular evening that one of my littles had a concert at the grade school. I had worked myself up into a state of complete dread that evening. As the time to leave got closer, I scrolled through multiple scenarios in my mind that could legitimately keep me home that night… but there were none. No one was sick or bleeding and nothing was on fire… and I couldn’t bear to disappoint my excited little sweetie strictly because of my own fear and dread. As I was composing my posture by letting out one last sigh and gritting my teeth so I could ‘bear it,’ something amazing happened. On my way out the door, I heard the voice of the Lord whisper gently and ever-so-lovingly to my heart:
Don’t forget to wear your crown.
What? My what? My crown? That’s right… He’s my Father…and… I’m His daughter. That makes me…Royalty. I am His Princess. There it was right in front of me… A truth that no cop cars or rumors or old crummy houses could change. I was a Daughter of the King!
Suddenly, I stood straighter. I stood taller. My shoulders became square instead of slouched and a new confidence came over my whole being. Heart, mind, will and emotions all got on board with this new truth as I chose to trust the words of the One who saw me for who I really was…and I was enough.
That night I went to my kids’ school — not in fear of what people thought — not as the local scandal — not ashamed. I went with boldness and confidence in who I really am because when I was afraid, I chose to trust in Him. I trusted His Word and what it says about me. And instead of shrinking back, I looked every single person I passed in those jam-packed halls in the eye…
and smiled like a Daughter of the King would.
We will never live a life free from fear. It will sneak up on us and even try to swallow us up when we least expect it. But God gave us a will that is more powerful than our emotions. We can choose to trust in God when we are afraid. We can find our safety and security in Him in the most precarious of times. Rather than bow to the thing that is intimidating us, we can make our allegiance to God alone. We can do the thing, face the thing, fight the thing and beat the thing we are afraid of, even if we have to do it afraid…. because we Trust in Him.
I was a runner but not necessarily “healthy”. Then I got hit by a car. Can you say perspective change!?! I lived with pain, tons of inflammation, prescription pain meds, limited mobility and I had to rely on others to take care of me. I knew that way of life, albeit temporary, could be a taste of my future if I didn’t tend to my temple NOW. So I made a decision to fully recover and get in the best health of my life and I’m so grateful I did! I’ve learned so much and made some simple changes one by one over time. I used to fear healthy living because it seemed restrictive and boring and honestly, I doubted my ability to be disciplined. But let me tell you, health and vitality in your body is not boring! And making wiser choices is energizing! And I didn’t do it all in one day. It’s a journey.
Now I get to help others make the shift and jump on the journey, too. I get to point people to natural solutions and a community of people who are supportive and excited! I never thought in a million years that this sugar addict, junk food junkie would be drinking green drinks, staying active, detoxing, drinking water and making sleep a priority…or helping others do the same! But when you feel like you’re 20 again, you can’t help but to share!
What are you doing to tend to your temple? How can I help?
There have always been highly capable female leaders! Abigail acted quickly and wisely to be a part of the solution in the middle of a big problem that her foolish husband made. By doing so, she became an answer for her whole household (saving all of their lives). She didn’t engage in a quarrel, she didn’t pout or panic, she just took wise & swift action.
Here is John Maxwell’s take on this praiseworthy woman: (taken from his “Leadership Promises” Daily Devotional)
“Then David said to Abigail: ‘Blessed is the Lord God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me! And blessed is your advice and blessed are you, because you have kept me this day from coming to bloodshed and from avenging myself with my own hand’.” ~1 Samuel 25:32-33
“After Samuel’s death, David moved to the Wilderness of Paran. There he encountered shepherds tending the flocks of the wealthy Nabal – an insolent, rude, and contentious man who happened to be married to a beautiful, intelligent, and intuitive woman named Abigail.
When Nabal offended David, Abigail very quickly took steps to defuse a volatile situation. She gathered a feast and went out to meet David. Abigail’s decisive actions calmed David and diverted him from avenging himself on Nabal’s whole household. Regardless of her husband’s inappropriate behavior, Abigail responded forthrightly and respectfully, and God Himself soon avenged David by removing Nabal from the equation.
David knew a woman of God when he saw one, and after Nabal’s death he married Abigail. David valued Abigail’s strength and felt greatly attracted to this highly capable female leader.”
Take action today to be an answer for your household and community! 💜, Kimberly